Why It’s Healthy To Lower Your High Expectations in College

A group of us were getting together for the first time since graduation, reminiscing about our earlier selves. “We were all horrible in college,” my friend said recently over drinks. “We were so status-obsessed and trying to keep up with everyone else who was status-obsessed.” Another friend, sipping his beer, put it more succinctly: “We were all…

How to Emotionally Prepare Yourself for Your Next Relationship

I’ll admit it: when my Talkspace editors suggested that I write about how to overcome harmful relationship patterns, my first thought was “Hey man, I wish I knew.” I, like most of us, have had my fair share of bad relationships, from “it’s complicated,” to “it’s really complicated,” to abuse (and there’s no Facebook status for that). I, like most…

Why Are We Still Debating Whether Trump is Racist?

Defining things as racist is like that exercise swim instructors do, where they tell kids to swim to them but keep walking backwards so the goal is never actually reached. Except in this exercise, the American public is trying to agree on whether something is racist or not, and the swim instructor is the ever-receding standard for…

5 Ways to Turn Your Day Around Now

Science knows the secret to happiness — and it’s a lot more simple than you’d think. That, at least, was the message of a recent New York article that summarized the scientific consensus on what makes humans happy. And, well: turns out that you could probably guess the answers. Beyond having your basic needs met, money, as…

How Does People Pleasing Negatively Affect Your Mental Health?

Imagine walking down a crowded street. You’re strolling along, minding your own business, when suddenly someone who is texting while walking (a dangerous pastime!) bumps right into you. You know that person bumped into you and not the other way around. You know that it wasn’t your fault and that it was, in fact, their fault….

Drug Tests: Weapons Against the Marginalized

Last week, Pennsylvania Democratic state representative Kevin Haggerty proposed that people filing Protection from Abuse orders should be drug tested if they lack “substantive” evidence of abuse. Yes, that does mean he thinks abuse victims should be drug tested in order to obtain protection from the state. Yes, that is as heinous as it sounds. Two things…

Letting Go of American Exceptionalism, One Harvard-Educated Banker at a Time

It has, as the New York Times reports, been the year of the lynch mob. Amid the increasing hysteria of a blatantly Hindu-supremacist, anti-Muslim, and anti-poor government, mob lynchings have been on the rise in India. Since 2015, reports The Quint, 68 people have been lynched, most of them Muslims or Hindus from oppressed castes. Stoked by vote-hungry politicians…

5 Ways Black and White Thinking Poisons Your Perspective

I’m a terrible person. My sister is so beautiful and I’m so ugly. My boyfriend is the most attractive person I know and I’ll never be as into anyone else again. We all think of the world in black and white terms at times. From refusing to see the flaws in our loved ones, to…

Why Feeling Your Anger is Good for You

Hell hath no fury like me in a political argument. My heart pounds. My breath speeds. My face reddens. I look like I just worked out, but that sweaty, vibrant flush is pure, righteous anger. Wise people throughout human history have taught us to beware the excesses of anger. Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, and ancient Greek…