Getting Into Drag With the Stars of “We’re Here” Proves Queerness Is Always Political

It’s raining in New York this November morning, one of the first really cold rains of the season. But Shangela’s suite at an upscale Manhattan hotel is warm and floral. Orchestral Taylor Swift plays in the background, and a candle burns on her coffee table. Shangela loves a scented candle. Lighting one is part of … Continue reading Getting Into Drag With the Stars of “We’re Here” Proves Queerness Is Always Political

How Trauma Affects Your Body — And How Your Body Protects You

“I’m on an anti-resilience kick right now,” says Dr. Janelle S. Peifer, Assistant Professor of Psychology at the University of Richmond. It is, at first glance, a surprising statement. The founder of The Center for Inclusive Therapy and Wellness, Peifer supports clients, especially women of color, as they process the ongoing traumas of patriarchy, heterosexism, capitalism, … Continue reading How Trauma Affects Your Body — And How Your Body Protects You

How to Be a Good Friend (And What to Look for In Others)

From children’s movies centered on the princess marrying the prince, to adult social events that exclude folks who aren’t coupled, our society draws a stark distinction between romantic love and friendship. Typically, romantic love comes out on top.  Yet, according to Candrea Davies, “The conversation around healthy friendships to me is the conversation around healthy … Continue reading How to Be a Good Friend (And What to Look for In Others)

Is Casual Sex for Me?

Recently, I realized I’d never had casual sex.  Let me clarify: I’ve had a lot of sex with people I didn’t have an intimate or committed relationship with. At the time, I would have called it casual. But something nagged at me. Most of those experiences felt unfulfilling, often boundary-violating, and left me emotionally hungry. … Continue reading Is Casual Sex for Me?

The Art of Gifting a Sex Toy

It’s February again, and love is in the air. And by “love,” I mean, “the sweet buzz of my favorite vibrator.”  Valentine’s Day, with its many corporate advertisements commodifying romantic love, can be a grating holiday. But it doesn’t have to be. Whether single, partnered, polyculed, or somewhere in-between (we see you, situationships), we can take … Continue reading The Art of Gifting a Sex Toy

How to Deal With Rejection

Now that I’m dating after a long break, there is a new rule in my household: I don’t waste time dissecting dates’ text messages. The aftermath of first dates used to find me analyzing every comma with my ever-patient friends. I’ve kicked the habit recently, because I’m actively trying to wean myself from self-consciousness around … Continue reading How to Deal With Rejection