Category: Relationships
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How to Be a Good Friend (And What to Look for In Others)
From children’s movies centered on the princess marrying the prince, to adult social events that exclude folks who aren’t coupled, our society draws a stark distinction between romantic love and friendship. Typically, romantic love comes out on top. Yet, according to Candrea Davies, “The conversation around healthy friendships to me is the conversation around healthy…
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A Guide and an Ode to Leaving a Relationship
A week or so after I left him, I experienced something I can only call euphoria. The few days since I left had been a drumbeat of pain. Yet that golden, late-August afternoon, walking home from another day of brain fog, it descended upon me. I was Peter riding to Damascus; a lightning bolt buoyed…
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How freelancing can improve your dating life (and vice versa)
A few years ago, I left a job, a relationship, and an apartment all in the same month. One, the job, came to a natural ending; I set off to begin my full-time freelance life. The other two endings were far more abrupt, and both were related to gender-based violence. I’m a food, sex, and mental…
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How to Make Peace With Your Jealousy
I called her the jealous woman. She was fierce and relentless, and during a difficult period in my life she arose in me when she sensed a threat. I was dating someone around that time. The butterflies were flying, and much of the time it felt so right, but the jealous woman kept popping up.…
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How Trauma Changes Our Relationships
If you grew up experiencing violence or repression — whether in the home, from the state, or due to poverty — you may have experienced the culture shock of being around people who had more privileged experiences. Similarly, if you’ve had a traumatic experience of some kind as an adult — sexual assault, armed conflict,…
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Comfort Sex: Why It’s Great And How to Do It
Sex with him was like swimming in the sea. When we were in bed together, the world stopped; we floated through each other’s bodies. In those moments, there was nothing but the safety of his skin. It was sexy as hell, but it was also deeper: the realization of my body’s desire to be nestled…
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This Holiday Season, Can We Heal The Relationship Wounds of Politics?
The euphoria was contagious. Car horns clamored through Brooklyn. Under the arch in Grand Army Plaza, brass bands spontaneously serenaded dancing crowds. My neighbors shrieked, and from building to building, the city echoed with cheers: Joe Biden had been elected President. I was happy — most of all, to see others’ joy. But I was also…
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How to Survive a Political Breakup
Every four years around election season — and particularly this year — the media fills with appeals: Why can’t we just get along? Sure, we may have strong opinions about politics, but that shouldn’t get in the way of our unity as family members, neighbors, or friends. In an ideal world, that’s true. Yet in…