Sexy Canadian Hippie Novelists and Other Summer Love Strugs

This post was written for a Huffpost Live Sex on Campus segment on summer love. The sexy Canadian hippie novelist (SCHN for short), slim hips slipping out of his American-flag-print boxer shorts, wanted to make sweet love to me in a hostel shower in Milan. Okay—he was a douchebag. But a hot douchebag. A hot douchebag … Continue reading Sexy Canadian Hippie Novelists and Other Summer Love Strugs

Godless

Does God exist? Fuck if I know. I gave up on the Catholic Church at fifteen after seeing Jesus Christ Superstar. Christ was a megalomaniac, and I wanted to do Mary Magdalene. But I’m holding out hope for the hereafter. This week, the Harvard Community of Humanists, Atheists, and Agnostics (HCHAA) has invited me and … Continue reading Godless

Welcome!

Why am I wearing a rain jacket? Why do I have an umbrella inside? Unclear. What is clear: This is a new website! Previously at The Harvard Crimson, Four Dollar Wine Critic will now be posting here weekly on cheap wine, other intoxicants that are equally cheap as cheap wine, and *feminism.* Joint me every Tuesday night … Continue reading Welcome!

The Four Dollar Wine Handy Dandy Vagtastic Valentine’s Day Workout

V-Day might be over, but ladies, you’ve still got to tend the actual V.  Ever wondered how to stay in great shape for your man? Look no further: It’s time for the Four Dollar Wine Handy Dandy Vagtastic Valentine’s Day Workout! 1) Wax your vagina. No, not your bikini line. Not “all the hair from your labia.” I … Continue reading The Four Dollar Wine Handy Dandy Vagtastic Valentine’s Day Workout

Thanksgiving!

If you were on I-95 anywhere between Providence, R.I. and Secaucus, N.J. last Wednesday evening, you knew there was a lot of traffic. What you didn’t know is that this traffic consisted entirely of my extended family, aka every second-to-fourth-generation Portuguese-Italian who can trace their roots to the Greater Newark Metropolitan Area. Including me. My … Continue reading Thanksgiving!