This post was written for a Huffpost Live Sex on Campus segment on summer love. The sexy Canadian hippie novelist (SCHN for short), slim hips slipping out of his American-flag-print boxer shorts, wanted to make sweet love to me in a hostel shower in Milan. Okay—he was a douchebag. But a hot douchebag. A hot douchebag … Continue reading Sexy Canadian Hippie Novelists and Other Summer Love Strugs
Does God exist? Fuck if I know. I gave up on the Catholic Church at fifteen after seeing Jesus Christ Superstar. Christ was a megalomaniac, and I wanted to do Mary Magdalene. But I’m holding out hope for the hereafter. This week, the Harvard Community of Humanists, Atheists, and Agnostics (HCHAA) has invited me and … Continue reading Godless
Other people’s agency got you down? Having difficulty asserting the dominion over man and beast our sexual culture has promised you? What if the secret to sleeping with any woman you wanted was simply making her feel weird enough to consent despite her deeply held reservations? Four Dollar Wine is on it! With these easy tips, you’ll have potential … Continue reading Try These Four Fun Tips to Make Women Feel Weird!
Why am I wearing a rain jacket? Why do I have an umbrella inside? Unclear. What is clear: This is a new website! Previously at The Harvard Crimson, Four Dollar Wine Critic will now be posting here weekly on cheap wine, other intoxicants that are equally cheap as cheap wine, and *feminism.* Joint me every Tuesday night … Continue reading Welcome!
Ah, the problem of embodiment. Like an itch we can’t scratch, like the prelude to a sneeze, like an unattainable orgasm, we are both bound to and alienated from the flesh. Heavy with questions of physicality, I seek once again to lose – or find? or embrace the fragmentation of? – myself in a sweaty … Continue reading Dotted Lines
I want to be known, and loved, and intellectually and sexually adored constantly by everybody. I want each party to be a glimmering climax where I utterly belong. Enter Valentine’s Day weekend: a playground of hungry hearts and lonely bodies. Weather: drunk. Ethos: thirsty. Drake summarizes the prevailing feeling: “I need a girl who gon’ … Continue reading Drunkentines/Sex Noises
Is Valentine’s Day a tool of biopolitical social control? Is the Pope Catholic? Valentine’s Day was originally a pagan holiday appropriated, as so many of them were, by the Catholic Church for nefarious keep-the-people-in-line purposes. (I can say this because I was raised Catholic.) The holiday has since been co-opted by global capitalism, which has … Continue reading Valentine’s Day
Ah, senior spring—when some of us solicit people we’d hardly ask to pass the salt in the d-hall for sex. Eyes swipe right and left; rigid social divides melt like snowflakes. The season is ushered in by First Chance Dance: a freshman tradition lost to us by act of hurricane, the dance—and with it, the … Continue reading First Chance Dance
V-Day might be over, but ladies, you’ve still got to tend the actual V. Ever wondered how to stay in great shape for your man? Look no further: It’s time for the Four Dollar Wine Handy Dandy Vagtastic Valentine’s Day Workout! 1) Wax your vagina. No, not your bikini line. Not “all the hair from your labia.” I … Continue reading The Four Dollar Wine Handy Dandy Vagtastic Valentine’s Day Workout
If you were on I-95 anywhere between Providence, R.I. and Secaucus, N.J. last Wednesday evening, you knew there was a lot of traffic. What you didn’t know is that this traffic consisted entirely of my extended family, aka every second-to-fourth-generation Portuguese-Italian who can trace their roots to the Greater Newark Metropolitan Area. Including me. My … Continue reading Thanksgiving!
Reina Gattuso 