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Is it a normal fight or verbal abuse? Here’s how to tell.
Even the most dynamic of duos has the occasional fight. Whether it begins with “Who forgot to take the dog out?” or “Do I really have to go to your brother’s birthday party?”, having arguments is a common — and healthy — part of any relationship. But in some cases, what we call an “argument” is actually…
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What is second-hand anxiety?
Your friend comes over after a bad day. Huffing and puffing, he brings it all to you: His boss was a jerk, he accidentally deleted his presentation, and spilled coffee on a new white shirt. Suddenly, you find yourself tense, even though you were having a relaxed day. What gives? There’s a name for the phenomenon of stress…
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Farmers march, students strike, and women rise: This week in Indian social movements
You don’t need me to tell you that these are dark times. From Mississippi’s recent (and definitely unconstitutional) banning of abortion at 15 weeks, to Trump’s revolving-door series of government appointments which are now slated to include a known torturer, the news is bleak. And it’s not only in the U.S.: Authoritarian right-wing governments are on the up worldwide. Including in…
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Is #metoo a moral panic? Not if we’re clear about our values.
Last month, in response to a profile of pornography literacy programs, conservative New York Times columnist Ross Douthat wrote an op-ed entitled “Let’s Ban Porn.” In it, Douthat argued that banning porn was not just feminist but also the logical conclusion of the #metoo movement’s quest for better sex. After all, Douthat argues, “It was only a generation…
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What the New York Times Gets Wrong About Obesity
I hope you’re not valuing your dignity as a human person — or worse! feeling good about your body! — while you read yet another stilted and shame-y diatribe about the moral perils of snack food. If you are, you may catch a serious flaw in much of the New York Times’ recent obesity coverage: we continue blaming and…
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Interviewed for Playboy article on “Fifty Shades of Grey”
Check out Adam Howard’s great piece on the Fifty Shades of Grey franchise over at Playboy It’s a great examination of the contradictory appeal of this very contradictory franchise—featuring some commentary from yours truly: I do think it’s an interesting franchise because it’s premised on this whole idea of the forbidden,” Reina Gattuso, a columnist for Feministing who writes about gender,…
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When it hits too close to home: #metoo, Ansari, and the difficult question of justice
Check out the original piece at Feministing. The more we realize that sexual violence is not a series of isolated, one-off occurrences, separate blips on the radar screen, the more we have to contend with the violence of the everyday. Isolated, spectacular violence warrants isolated, spectacular justice. But how do we imagine justice, and healing, and survival,…
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No, the #metoo movement is not about women “playing the victim”
Check out the original article at Feministing. You’ve been stuffed into a box your whole life. You contort yourself to fit. Twist your legs. Chop off your arms. Breathe shallower. Then one day you realize—we realize, together—the box has seams in it. After lifetimes of contortion, we realize: Explode the box. It’s easier said than done, but…
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To fight harassment, we must learn how to break up
Read the original article at Feministing. “We are taught how to fall in love, but we are never taught how to deal with love ending.” A young man said this recently during a community discussion on sexual harassment and violence. It struck a chord in me. Intimate partner violence, after all, tends to escalate when the victim is…
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How Men Can Confront Toxic Masculinity (+ Why It’s Important for Mental Health)
With the #MeToo movement dominating the headlines over the past few months, many of us have had to ask tough questions about our own experiences of gender, power, and relationships. While women have taken the forefront of the movement, it’s also been a moment of reckoning for men. The movement has not only provided an…