A Guide and an Ode to Leaving a Relationship

A week or so after I left him, I experienced something I can only call euphoria.  The few days since I left had been a drumbeat of pain. Yet that golden, late-August afternoon, walking home from another day of brain fog, it descended upon me. I was Peter riding to Damascus; a lightning bolt buoyed…

The Risks of Coming Out at Work

When the world was sheltering in place, Takeyla Benton was coming out. It was March 2020, and the Wisconsin, US-based financial-services professional and mother of two had just quit her job at a credit union, and broken off an engagement to a man. Lockdown gave now 39-year-old Benton time to rest and reflect on whether…

How freelancing can improve your dating life (and vice versa)

A few years ago, I left a job, a relationship, and an apartment all in the same month. One, the job, came to a natural ending; I set off to begin my full-time freelance life. The other two endings were far more abrupt, and both were related to gender-based violence. I’m a food, sex, and mental…

How to Make Peace With Your Jealousy

I called her the jealous woman. She was fierce and relentless, and during a difficult period in my life she arose in me when she sensed a threat. I was dating someone around that time. The butterflies were flying, and much of the time it felt so right, but the jealous woman kept popping up….

How to Make Long-Term Plans in a Crisis

Mona Eshaiker was two years into a high-profile job when she realized something wasn’t working. It was 2020, and Eshaiker, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, was working at a digital mental health startup. Her work days were gruelling, and as one of the only queer people and people of color in the room, she…

How Trauma Changes Our Relationships

If you grew up experiencing violence or repression — whether in the home, from the state, or due to poverty — you may have experienced the culture shock of being around people who had more privileged experiences. Similarly, if you’ve had a traumatic experience of some kind as an adult — sexual assault, armed conflict,…

Wellness in a World On Fire: Therapy Tackles Climate Change

he boy spoke of a crocodile. It was the size of a continent, crawling all over the earth. “It had to keep eating and eating. It would never stop, but would never have eaten enough,” he said. “And you could smell its dying flesh as it still ate.” The 10-year-old was speaking to Caroline Hickman,…

What Is “Skin Hunger”?

Kory Floyd has never been more popular. A professor of communication at the University of Arizona, Floyd researches affection and loneliness. Since the pandemic began, friends and journalists have been asking him: Why are we so hungry for touch? “I’m hearing a lot from people that this has been one of the biggest surprises about the pandemic:…

How Resilient People Found Hope in 2020 — And How You Can, Too

Social justice activism made me believe, again, in God. It wasn’t necessarily the God of my childhood church, or the God of my grandmother — though this renewed belief comes with a greater affection for her Italian-American, Roman Catholic rosaries and prayer cards. Instead, it was the simple fact that, as I found myself returning…

This Holiday Season, Can We Heal The Relationship Wounds of Politics?

The euphoria was contagious. Car horns clamored through Brooklyn. Under the arch in Grand Army Plaza, brass bands spontaneously serenaded dancing crowds. My neighbors shrieked, and from building to building, the city echoed with cheers: Joe Biden had been elected President.  I was happy — most of all, to see others’ joy. But I was also…