You know the siren call of that late night text. I love you, the message from your ex might read. I want you back. Twelve hours and an equal number of orgasms later, however, your hopes to get back with an errant ex dissolve like morning dew, as they once again slide out of your bed, DMs, and life. Or perhaps, you are the person who’s sent the sweet I miss you messages, only to realize after one dinner date that the breakup truly was for the best.
We’ve all longed for an ex-partner after a breakup. But, according to writer and relationship coach Natalie Lue, that feeling should be taken with a grain of salt. “It’s totally normal to miss your ex,” says Lue, “But it doesn’t mean that it’s time to get back together.”
As the expert behind Baggage Reclaim, Lue has helped thousands of readers build better boundaries, deeper self-esteem, and healthier relationships. One of the most common questions from readers is: Should I get back together with my ex? Lue has developed a golden rule for such situations: “The only good time to get back together with an ex is if the reasons that broke your relationship no longer exist,” she says. “Or if the two of you, not one of you, are working through them.”