Dealing with Complicated Feelings Around Abusers

Recently, a man I know was outed as a serial sexual harasser. I say “know” in a rather unfortunate sense: I’d been approached online by, went on a date with, and even kissed the guy a couple years ago. His too-forward sexual advances had always left a bad taste in my mouth. When the revelations…

One Year After #MeToo

The day after Dr. Christine Blasey Ford testified before congress about her experience of sexual violence in relation to Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh, the Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network (RAINN) received the highest number of calls in its 24-year history. More than 3,000 people connected with the network on September 28, part of a record-breaking increase in…

Do You Have to Forgive to Move On?

My mom had one response to our childhood complaints of schoolyard mean girls: “They’re probably having problems at home. Let it go.” I, of course, wasn’t having any of it. “But they’re mean to me,” I would wail. “Can’t you take my side?” Now that the grade school social scene is firmly behind me, I understand that…